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[18 Nov 2008|02:11am] |
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I am a little bit fdrunk right now so I can't answer you at the moment but thanksf dfor well wishes and sympathy and stuff. I do wish that i was more drunk. Ha I cant belieev I had to think about whether or not to say "more drunk" or "drunker". I must be more gone than I thought. Still not enough. I mean, it's not like I was in love or anything. BUt i liekd hin a lot. And I thought it could have worked. but for now i guess it didnt.
Excuse me i think i need to go cry myself to sleep right about now.
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[17 Nov 2008|09:51pm] |
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Well fuck.
Derek just broke up with me.
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| Side-effects to these pills. |
[17 Nov 2008|02:13am] |
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Mr. Doctor Man said the first two weeks would be rough, BUT GODDAMN.
I’M SEEING LITTLE PINK CHRISTINA AGUILERA MONSTERS.
BUT I THINK THAT’S TO BE EXPECTED.
Not really, but I might as well be seeing them. I threw up four times in the past two days, slept for over 16 hours today, and lost my ability to concentrate on ANYTHING.
lol, i hate my life.
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| Hay Bitchez |
[16 Nov 2008|12:10pm] |
Usually I don't care if I don't get a response to a direct question to you, El Ghey and Friends, but I really must be vehement about this one. Please comment on this post (you may have skipped over it because it started with a "letter" to Lance about DwtS) regarding my dance outfit designs. I want to get better in designing outfits, and make them more aesthetically pleasing to more people. I can only do that with input from a lot of different people. Be critical (but not mean)!
So, please comment?
I don't care if you know nothing about fashion or have a horrible sense of it, but I would really like your input. Especially regarding whether or not you think the winner had a better, more aesthetically pleasing design.
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[16 Nov 2008|08:29am] |
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Toad the Wet Sprocket - Amnesia |
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It is so deliciously cold right now. I don't even have my air conditioning on and it's 60°F my apartment. I'm wrapped in one of my birthday gifts this year from my mother - a throw made of lambskin fur. It's so soft.
This is also perfect snuggling weather. Now if only I could get Derek to get over his apparent fear of physical affection...
PS - I recently discovered a band called Toad the Wet Sprocket. I know, I never heard of them either. But they're really cool; they play folkrock music. If you like that genre, I also highly recommend The Refreshments (the band from Arizona, not the Swedish one), who are more cowboy/wild west/Mexico-inspired (singing about cowboys, saloons, Mexican señoritas, that kind of thing). I highly recommend their song Sin Nombre, to which there is a great Trigun music video with a Vash/Woolfwood theme.
Don't worry, neither band has a country sound. A slight country influence can be heard in The Refreshments, though.
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| Oh, Andy |
[16 Nov 2008|06:28pm] |
Andy Hurley getting twitter is the best thing to happen to the internet since Dan Whitesides discovered Kyte, yes/no?
Mary: Andy, I think DC Comics needs you to write a comic for them, to help them not suck. The vegan Green Arrow eats meat now.
Andy: yeah, they need more help than i could give. haha. im a marvel kid. theyve got morrison and johns though. morrison is one of my favorite writers ever-a
I love Andy all the more for inadvertantly naming two of the few DC writers who have vocally supported Girl-Wonder.org.
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[15 Nov 2008|01:08am] |
This is why you don't idle in Shat after busy Wrath grinding.
( Click. )
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[14 Nov 2008|06:22pm] |
Why do I open my mouth? Why do I speak at all? Time and time again I'm shown that everything I say is wrong, that I'm an idiot and I should cease to breathe. But I continue to talk and feel so confident about the words I say. The sure sign of an ignorant boob. From political no-no's to opinions on dinner, I'm wrong. I think the only time I'm right is when I say my name.
I tried making fresh pumpkin puree. Keyword: tried. The pumpkin was a tad overripe so it is more stringy than I would have liked, but it tastes like it should and it wasn't watery! It was that little pumpkin I had on my alter so it didn't result in very much quote-unquote puree. I should have measured it before I stored it in the freezer downstairs. It should be about a cup... I hope.
I love horror movies that don't take themselves seriously. The breakdance-off was the most ridiculous thing I've seen in a movie and I loved it.
Alright kids, though I am undeserving, I have a request. Two, really. I need new music. Anything. For the love of god, hook a sister up. Also, I've been craving documentaries. On any subject really. Nature, politics, biographies, crime, world history, just as long as it, you know, doesn't suck. Most documentaries on TV are so... biased. Alright, scratch that: REALLY biased. How can you learn anything like that? You can't, that's how. Facts are nothing compared to the mighty dollar, which in case some people have been living in caves, it ain't that mighty anymore.
Egg on toast with chili isn't as bad as one might think. Ponder that one.
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| I’m so nauseated right now. |
[14 Nov 2008|02:17am] |
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Okay, first of all, I’m SORRY about this post, because it’s yet again another “I hate my life, fuck off, I want to die!” rant. I’m sick of it, and you guys probably are, too, but I’m so confused right now, and I don’t even know what the fuck is happening, so feel free to ignore this shit.
So, I went to the new psychiatrist today. I was pissed, because it was ended up being a male doctor, and I was like, “Dude, I requested a female, wtf?” but I decided I wouldn’t argue, considering the crappy ups and downs I’ve been having. But, then, I go into the guy’s office, and he starts asking me all these questions, all totally similar to the questions I was asked back at the NH psychiatric office, and I tell him basically the same things about how I’m suicidal and all that shit, and he doesn’t freak out about it. He was totally calm about it, not like the NH people, who fuckin’ started out filling out emergency paperwork and had me sent to the hospital here. So, whatever, that’s great, and then he continues asking questions and leaves for a while. When he comes back he gives me two prescriptions, and I’m like, “Okay, what are these for?” and he tells me, “You need sleep medication, because your sleeping is irregular. Oh, and you’re probably bipolar, so here’s a prescription for that.”
Great. Just fucking great. I DO NOT want to be bipolar, that shit is fucking permanent, not like depression, where I could eventually STOP TAKING the medication once I worked things out and started feeling better. But, bipolar? Bi-fucking-polar? And, the thing is, he doesn’t even TELL ME ANYTHING about it. He’s just like, “Here. Take this for two weeks, come back, and we’ll see how it works.”
So, I’m fucking miserable for the rest of the day, and my mom admits she was suspicious it was bipolar, too, because my uncle was bipolar and so is my grandmother. But, what the hell, why did I get “diagnosed” so fucking quickly? I’m totally convinced that guy is wrong. Because bipolar? Really? Fucking really? And, I bring home all these retarded pamphlets and shit and I’m going over the stupid “quizzes,” and each one, based on how I answered my questions, “diagnosed” me with Bipolar 1 and that is what the dude told me I probably had (not Bipolar 2, whatever the fuck that is), but… this happened WAY TOO QUICKLY, and it was based on the ten fucking minutes I spent answering his shit.
And I just fucking took the pill, called Aripiprazole or something I can’t even pronounce, and I feel sick to my stomach. I’m nauseated and dizzy, and just fuck, I hate everything right now. I'm confused, I don’t know if I'm really bipolar, and I’m staring at the fucking prescription he gave me, and I just want to cry. I just want to bawl my eyes out.
Bipolar... Jesus Christ. Fucking jolly good times.
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[14 Nov 2008|12:34am] |
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music |
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Queer as Folk - Crying At The Discoteque |
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Dear Lance,
Bb, honeylove, you know I love you. But I shall not be surprised if you go home this coming week on Dancing with the Stars. I hope you won't, but I am prepared for the worst. If you concentrate especially hard on your footwork and keep improving your frame, you will stay in it and at least beat Warren, whose footwork is his weak point. And who knows, you may have an amazing two weeks in a row and Cody and Warren may have two bad weeks in a row, and you could make it to the finals! ...but you won't beat Brooke. Sorry hon, but it won't happen. She pisses us all off with her amazingness (we all know she's a Mary Sue in disguise, especially for the moms of USA), but unless she gets seriously injured, or you or someone else seriously brings it soon, she's winning this thing.
Y'know, if you and Cody convince Warren to break her legs, she'll be out of the running and he'll be disqualified. Then you and Cody can have a dance off and then have hot gay blonde sex for my viewing pleasure on national live tv. Which I will DVR and rewatch over and over and over again. Maybe even invite Rocco back for a three-way. (Now there's a fanfic waiting to be written.)
Just sayin'.
Wishing you luck,
A fan
Speaking of DwtS, this week was the week where they debuted the Design A Dance results. The fans were polled on the dance, the song, the dancers, and the costume submissions for the performance. I am a little bitter that this beat my designs. I am a little biased, but I honestly like my designs better. The girl's design was okay, but the guy's was just boring. Apparently as well, the winning girl is a professional designer. WAT. D: Shouldn't there be a rule against that kinda thing? Anyway, what do you think, ElGhey? I want an honest opinion. I'd give you pictures to the other finalists (no, I was not one), but ABC has taken them down and I can't find any on the web. I think perhaps, after seeing the jive they performed, that my man's design may have been a little too restrictive in the upper body movements and perhaps that's why I wasn't chosen for a finalist. I still like mine better. And yes, I am a little bitter :P
Derek took this weekend off to do something with his family, but they changed their plans so he has an entire weekend off. A weekend he wants to spend with me, apparently :3 We're going to go to Austin tomorrow after he gets off of work. Once we're there... I'm really not sure what we're gonna do. We're gonna have a late lunch at Matt's El Rancho and dinner at Magnolia Cafe. We may go see Repo! The Genetic Opera; we may go clubbing... I dunno what else though. There's Zilker park, we could go ice skating like he had planned a while ago, there are tons of art exhibits and stuff. I think we'll pick up an issue of The Chronicle and see what's happening when we get there. I do want to show him Momoko though, and I do want to stop by the costume store on Riverside to get ears and a wig for my Christmas Link cosplay I'll be wearing this holiday con season and possibly to the last RenFaire weekend.
I am in some mild pain as I have stitches on my thighs; two on my right, one on my left. My doctor took a skin biopsy for a rash that I have. He gave me a topical steroid that neither made it worse or made it better, so now he'll know what it is and what to do about it in just under a week. It doesn't itch or burn or anything, but it has gotten darker and seems to be spreading. Kinda almost freak-out worthy. Sorry if that's tmi.
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